Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize