We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
