Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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