i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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