Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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