You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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