just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
