shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
