Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
