Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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