Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my being single is dangerous.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
