using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
