Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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