Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
