i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
