is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
