Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
