All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
