dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
