i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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