GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
