and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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