She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
