why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize