What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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