dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dicks are not precious.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
