I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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