At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
