I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
