the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
