I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
