Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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