Non-Jews are for practice
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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