Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
