you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
