I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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