So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
