Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
