As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Houston, we have a squirter
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
