I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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