Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize