i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
