i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
