Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
