ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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