so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
