I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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