Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
