I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
