i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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