and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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