Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
worst night to have a conscience
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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