I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
