Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
