She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
