Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
