found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
