He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
