so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
