Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
