Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
