I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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